As the ex-chairman and now honorary member of the secret society called ‘The Blue Horizon Liners’, I have this to say about the latest ‘DE KAT’ front cover. Nothing. The official spokesmen for this weird club, Mr Bleak Blau had the following to say. Nothing much. He did briefly mumble that he thought that the cover made the old hound-dog feel like a younger DE HOND again. An investigative journalist, Mr. Soutie Pan posted the following article on his garage wall. For reasons of anonymity he works from home. All his posts are pinned between the spanners, tools and Playboy pinups.

“I have successfully infiltrated this secret society as an undercover agent. This was an extremely difficult assignment because there is no cover or hideout where these people meet. These secret meetings are usually held near enormous flat pans found in the northern Cape. As far as the eye can see the world is hazy white, flat as a pan with a pale blue horizon at infinity. These ‘Blue Liners’ are, in my opinion, not a society or even a club, but a couple of mad dogs that like old rock ’n roll music. All I have established is that these so called ‘Blue Horizon Liners’ have a few very basic rules. They travel across large saltpans in their pickup trucks, solo, blindfolded, at full speed, for as long as they possibly can. I think that the present record stands at 6 minutes 35 seconds, blindfolded and driving at a speed of around 150 kilometres per hour. This time could have been bettered by now as they don’t publish or post these records. Farmers in the area in which some of these vast pans belong have sighted dust trails travelling at high speeds across the horizon. One of the oldest farmers in the area, Oom Koennie Kommer, still thinks that it’s Donald Campbell trying to break his land speed record on Verneuk Pan. Oom Kommer was a bit worried that Donald was getting a bit old for this kind of stuff as his first attempt was in 1926. The local police in the area are also baffled. The one constable in Brandvlei said that most of these sightings were UFO’s. In my opinion, that comes as no surprise, as most of the police in South Africa are baffled, except of course General Cele, the present Chief of Police. His only baffle is who got the bribes for the arms deal, who paid for the new police headquarters in Jo’burg and why his predecessor, Jackie Selebe, has a bath in his cell. The constable in Brandvlei did, however, forward this report or sighting to military intelligence, where it will soon disappear. The most difficult prospect of my undercover work on this subject was to ascertain why these weirdoes actually commit themselves to this bizarre sport. To me it seems to be more a kind of death wish than a sport. Perhaps it’s something like the old ‘playing chicken’ of the 50’s and 60’s. In my opinion they do it to get high without drugs. They do it to transcend to a euphoric state of being that is elevated beyond this world. I believe that travelling at a high speed in total darkness drastically changes your state of mind, so much so, that these actions separate body and mind. It’s a mind boggle with a blue line. Mr. Bleak Blau did however stress, that any sane member of the public should not attempt to copy these so-called “Blue Horizon Liners”.

 

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *